i think anyone who’s every used the internet has seen this picture at least once
#I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I IF I SEE THIS AGAIN ILL SHIT A BEAR #NOT ON A BEAR#NOT NEAR A BEAR #I WILL SHIT AN ACTUAL BEAR #I WILL SIT UPON THE TOILET OPEN WIDE MY ASSCHEEKS AND PRODUCE A BEAR OUT OF MY GODDAMN ASSHOLE
TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?
Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?
TSA: why do u always do this?
some fun in the meantime
1. had sex?
2. bought condoms?
3. gotten pregnant?
4. failed a class?
5. kissed a boy?
6. kissed a girl?
7. had a job?
8. left the house without my wallet?
9. bullied someone on the internet?
11. had sex in public?
12. smoked weed?
13. smoked cigarettes?
14. smoked a cigar?
15. drank alcohol?
16. been to a wedding?
17. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
18. watched tv for 5 hours straight?
19. been late for school?
20. kissed in the rain?
21. showered with someone else?
22. been outside my home country?
23. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
24. had lice?
25. gotten my heart broken?
26. had a credit card?
27. been to a professional sports game?
28. broken a bone?
29. been unhappy about my weight?
30. won a trophy?
31. cut myself?
32. been on a diet?
33. rode in a taxi?
34. stayed up for 24 hours or more?
35. been to a concert?
36. had a crush on someone of the same sex?
37. had braces?
38. wore make up?
39. lost my virginity before I was 16?
40. kissed someone a different race than myself?
41. Snuck out of the house?
42. had oral sex?
43. dyed my hair?
44. met someone famous?
45. been on vacation?
46. been on a boat?
47. been on an airplane?
48. prank called someone?
49. taken a pregnancy test?
50. been suspended from school?
Please, have at me.
Anonymous said: What do you look for in a boyfriend?
oh, so when tumblr feminists embroider swear words and occult symbols onto things, it’s “subversive” and “edgy,” but when I do it, I’m a “terrible surgeon” whose being “sued for malpractice”
johannaof221b said: (teen verse) Jo and Greg
(My character walks in on a pairing of your choice whilst they make the beast with two backs)
"Jo I’m going to need that notebook ba- OH CHRIST SORRY!" John squeaked, eyes as large as saucers and looking anywhere, fucking ANYWHERE but his sister and best friend’s naked writhing bodies. He fumbled with the doorknob three times before he managed to grab it and slam the door shut behind him, all the while uttering a continuous string of "I’m sorry"s. He leaned against the outer wall.
A second tucked by before it clicked.
"Hang on, why am I apologizing… THAT’S MY BLOODY ROOM TOO!! JOHANNA!!"
"John you weren’t meant to be home! If you and Sherlock stuck to your plans then you’d never have seen any of this." She shrugged, finishing her eggs. "I mean.. things are serious between us anyways."
"My room! MY BLOODY ROOM!" He yelled as he had been for the past half hour, not unlike a broken record.